Filed under: Education, Trans Today | Tags: bible, bisexual, christianity, church, closet, closeted, coming out, faith, gay, lesbian, lgbt, religion, transgender
Stealth or passing is a common term used for someone within the transgender community who with no question lives as the sex they identify with. Though someone who is stealth can easily move within and on with their lives it presents an even bigger problem for many, is it okay to not disclose or to disclose. The same problem presents itself with people of faith who live and work within the lgbt community, should I disclose and if so then when.
Many in the lgbt community are familiar with the concept of living two separate lives though it is not as common or even necessary anymore. There’s the professional work face we slap on Monday through Friday from eight to five and then the more comfortable and real us that comes out there after. People of faith experience the same sort of confliction. The confliction of being an lgbt person of faith within lgbt community mirrors that which occurs within the religious community.
First, within the religious community, while attending church many lgbt identified people stay closeted to their congregation in fear of being outcasted. Which is understandable seeing as there is a clear trail of discrimination. Some may feel fine staying closeted in their place of worship but I find it hard to navigate. I am up front with God why shouldn’t I be with my congregation? Though God and I have a good personal relationship my congregation my question my personal relationship with God and interfere with my longing for fellowship, worshiping God along with others with the same faith as my own. Though I may not ever be faced with coming out during the sermon I might later on. The more active I become in my church the harder it will be to stay closeted.
Second within the lgbt community, a community greatly affected by silence, another much more silent and stealth group keeps their faith identities closeted. Though the stigma of persecution within the religious community towards the queer community is strong the backlash of the lgbt community against people of faith is much stronger, regardless of whether those individuals are part of the queer community or not. Even those who were not raised in a faith-based environment automatically lash out at the religious community. Assuming someone of faith always has something against the queer community. I have had more negative reactions to “coming out” as a person of faith than I have as transgender while working in the queer community.
There is a third option for lgbt people of faith, an “open and affirming” church which I have attended and enjoyed but many times it is a very different scene than that of the denomination I was raised with. Though I don’t ever want to return to a Baptist church I do miss the worship, sermons, and fellowship of the Bible churches I started attending in my youth.
There are many movements within the queer community involving church outreach and education but not many involving faith outreach and education among the lgbt community. I find it hard to believe we can ask someone outside of the lgbt community to change their beliefs, or assumed beliefs, when we unable to change our beliefs about faith even within our own community. Before we try to create change in others we must first create that same change within ourselves.
Filed under: Education, Trans Today | Tags: abc news, alexis arquette, chaz bono, chuene, gender, glaad, golland, iaaf, isis king, larry king live, media, news, oprah, pregnant man, rasmussen, roles, sallans, semenya, thomas beatie, transgender, transition, variant
The media has a mind of its own but many times the actions of the media are a direct affect of those who read it. The way in which a story is spun greatly impacts the perceptions of those who read it, regardless of the content. Many have said the stereotypes of the trans identified population have been created and upheld by the media and so until bad publicity has ceased those same stereotypes will be expected. Is that to say the trans identified population is not responsible for the publicity it has had? Will it be left in the hands of the media to educate themselves and seek out the heart of the thriving and responsible members belonging to the trans identified population?
The past few years there has been a noticeable increase in the amount of content and attention relating to gender variant people. The coverage has reached beyond the borders of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and trans identified population and on into the mainstream population. The perspective has changed, more articles are written with more respectful and accurate language, and the readers seem to have an increased knowledge of gender variance.
One of the biggest stories I remember came out about the same time I did, the story of the pregnant man. Thomas Beatie, a transgender female to male, decided to impregnate himself after discovering his female partner was unable to during their efforts to build a family. I remember watching his interview with Oprah, I can honestly say I did not understand his choice to be public about his decision but it opened the door for conversation and education. I believe they are planning on having another child after the healthy birth of the first baby girl.
The past couple of months the news feeds have been lighting up with all sorts of gender variant content.
The first took me by surprise, an actual ongoing segment created by ABC News. The segment is an ongoing discussion about our current economic recession and the impact it has had on the gender roles of everyday American families. ABC is encouraging folks to submit their own stories about the impact the recession has had on the gender roles of their own families.
The second was Chaz Bono, the child of famous singers Sonny and Cher, announcing his transition from female to male. He must have someone amazing handling his public relations because everyone has been very respectful and it has not been smeared around as much as it could have been. I think Neil Giuliano, president of the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation says it best,. “Chaz Bono’s decision to live his life authentically represents an important step forward, both for him personally and for all who are committed to advancing discussions about fairness and equality for transgender people. Coming out as transgender is an extremely personal decision and one that is never made lightly. We look forward to hearing Chaz’s story in his own words in the future.”
The third was an interview on Larry King Live called, “Living the Transgender Life.” The main guest was Alexis Arquette, a transgender actress, though the story was inspired by the announcement of Chaz Bono’s transitioning from female to male. Other guests included Ryan Sallans, a transman who appeared on LOGO segment on Gender Bending, Dr. Gary Alter, “a genital reconstruction expert,” Isis King, a transwoman who appeared on “America’s Top Model,” Stu Rasmussen, a crossdressing Mayor in Silverton, Oregon, Dr. Michelle Golland, Psy.D. Contributor to MOMLOGIC.COM, Ryan, a fifteen year old trans youth, and Fran, his unsupportive and rather degrading mother. The interview wasn’t terrible but it was sad to see that Dr. Michelle Golland had to correct and explain the difference between gender identity and sexual orientation as the” token straight lady of the group.” I am not dismissing the importance of an ally but rather the lack education of those on the show who identified as transgender and chose to publicly represent the transgender community. Michelle, thank you. It was also very disheartening to see Fran, the mother of the fifteen year old Ryan, continuously making fun, put down, and refer to her child by his female birth name on national television. Did they consider calling Kim Pearson of Trans Youth Family Allies (TYFA)?
The last story I have been following recently and will continue to follow is the investigation into the exact gender of young athlete, Caster Semenya. After winning her first world title for the 800 meter dash at the World Championships in Berlin her gender is brought into question. One of Semenya’s coaches actually quit because he was so ashamed for having lied to her about her gender being tested and telling her it was a doping test. Her tests came back showing she was intersexed, having both male and female parts. She followed in the footsteps of her coach, quitting in shame and embarrassment using the word “hermaphodite.” After having her gender publicly tried the eighteen year old runner returned home to South Africa to find that her fellow South Africans fully supported and accepted her and would not allow for her to be stripped of her medal. The president of Athletics South Africa, Leonard Chuene, resigned from his seat on the IAAF board to show his disapproval of the treatment of Semenya. One last note on that, it was her gender that was questioned but her actual sex that was tested. Seeing as gender is socially constructed and impossible to physically test for.
I have no doubt we will continue to see an increase in the amount of gender variant material in the media. I believe it is due to the way our society is changing their views on gender. I ask that we remain patient and continue to educate those who are misinformed with an even greater amount of patience. We, the trans identified population and allies, are responsible for first, educating ourselves, and second, holding those who release misinformed and bad media accountable as well those who mistakenly speak on our behalf.
Filed under: Where I am Today | Tags: acceptance, change, coming out, family, parents, transgender
Recently my brother was married, a good day but one that could ultimately lead to awkward moments and situations. I debated on whether or not my presence would make for an unneeded distraction and considered ducking out at the last minute. Their wedding day shouldn’t be tainted with moments of confusion and maybe a little disgust. The problem was I couldn’t just duck out for the wedding because there was also a dinner the night before with close family of both sides. I called up my dad, as not to upset my mother, and told him what was up.
Filed under: Education, Where I am Today | Tags: youth, closet, closeted, coming out, faith, family, silenced, struggle, support, depression
When I was in my teens and dealing with reactions from my quiet coming out I had two very different thought processes. The first, was parents would come out and say how they felt about things and the second, they would turn their backs and shut me out. The absolute silence hurt more than anything else, like they taught you in church, “There is nothing worse than a luke warm Christian.”
I never knew what they thought or how they felt about me, I suffered in the silence unsure, anxious, and alone. I waited for the day when they would tell me to leave or stated their stance so clearly that I felt I could justify leaving them or sticking up for myself but I never got the chance. I spent my teen years questioning, later on I started acting out to try to aggravate them enough to kick me out.
I wanted that feeling of freedom of knowing where I stood with them but they could never pay me that respect. Today I still wait, still feel I can’t stand my ground and tell them how I feel. I miss the days when sitting in the same room didn’t feel awkward. I wish I knew my family in the present tense and was a part of their lives, I wish they were part of mine.
I say I’m over it, but there’s still a part of that sixteen year old girl, with those big blue eyes and blond hair waiting in the chair in my father’s office with sweaty palms waiting for something, anything. Not even a hug but a small hint of “I’m still here for you.”
Filed under: Education, Trans Today | Tags: transgender, youth, lgbt, school clubs, closet, closeted, coming out, family, gay, homosexuality, lesbian, silenced, struggle, support, depression, out, gender, school, Education, bullying, harassment
The past few weeks have proved the deadly affects of anti-lgbt bullying in schools with the suicides of two students in different parts of the country. It was just this past fall that a “gay friendly” high school would be developed in Chicago, the idea of the school was not to promote the gay agenda but create a safe environment for lgbt students whose education was suffering because of the discrimination they were facing in their schools. Many, like the Illinois Family Institute and the Americans for Truth About Homosexuality were against a school that was tolerant of the homosexual lifestyle and the main theme of all opposed was that sex needed to be kept out of the schools. But who said anything about sex?
It is a known and proven fact that lgbt students are constantly bullied in schools. What is scary is that it’s not just “out” students; it can be heterosexual students that have traits stereotypical of the lgbt community or students who are friends with those who identify as or are perceived as lgbt. Thanks to an organization called GLSEN we now have access to statistics dealing specifically to the environment lgbt students experience while attending schools. GLSEN works to ensure a safe learning environment for all students through education pertaining to the bullying faced by lgbt students and ways in which to prevent and deal with this bullying. GLSEN conducts research on the bullying faced by lgbt students every year and is currently getting ready to release their findings for 2008. The 2007 National School Climate Survey proved nine out of ten lgbt students experienced harassment at school, over sixty percent felt unsafe at their school, and over thirty percent had skipped school because they felt unsafe.
Not even a week apart, an 11 year old student in Massachusetts, Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, and a 17 year old in Ohio, Eric Moffat, committed suicide because of being constantly harassed at their schools. The parents of both kids knew that they were being bullied because of lgbt or perceived lgbt traights. The parents of Eric Moffat are now suing his school after a classmate had told him he should just go home and shoot himself, Eric went straight home and did just that. Carl’s parents said he had been constantly called gay slurs since attending the school in September.
I hope that I do not have to read about more kids committing suicide because anti-lgbt bullying and I hope those that are opposed to protecting those students, who suffer from anti-lgbt bullying, wake up real soon. This had nothing to do with sex but everything to do with fellow students recognizing a popular label that has been placed upon the lgbt community and making a choice to treat that student badly because it. I have heard many arguments for why lgbt students should not be protected and for many of the opposed they don’t want their kids exposed to lgbt students. But the bottom line is the mainstream student body is not failing, dropping out of school, and committing suicide because of bullying for being “normal.” There is no excuse, protect those students who are suffering in the classrooms or call up the families of Lawrence King, Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, and Eric Moffat and tell them that the loss of their kids wasn’t enough and we need more.
Filed under: Education, Trans Today | Tags: authority, castle, confinment, deviant, gay, last, lesbian, lgbt, military, prison, service, struggle, support, transgender
One of my favorite movies of all time is “The Last Castle.” The story line of the movie itself is rather depressing seeing as the entire movie takes place within the heavily guarded walls of a prison made for holding solely those who have been found guilty of committing crimes within any branch of the military. Though the movie takes place in a very confining setting the overall message of the movie inspires me time and time again.
As the story goes a well known and honored general is court marshaled to this maximum security prison, planning to serve his time and leave with no incident. The warden of the prison is corrupt and does not grant even the most basic of human rights to the inmates but treats the famous general with the upmost respect when he enters the prison. The general denounces the warden’s lack of morals and experience, launching the warden into dangerous display of his authority over the prison. These reins of power led to the unnecessary deaths of several inmates. The inmates’ plea with the general to let the individuals outranking the warden know about his horrific management of the prison. The general finally takes charge and leads the prisoners in a slow and strategic to take over the prison after multiple inmate deaths due to the cruel nature of the warden and his refusal to resign when called out by the general.
The general was faced with the difficult task of bringing the inmates together. When prisoners were brought in they were stripped of their rank, saluting other inmates and referring to them by rank was not allowed. The general now not only had to bring these inmates together from mixed branches, who have always been in high competition with each other, but inspire them to stand up for themselves and their fellow inmates. He did this over time by paying each inmate with what they had been cut off from for way too long, he gave them his respect. He asked for their respect in return and slowly the inmates starting working together as one unified force.
I won’t give away the ending but the conflicts shown in this film reflect the struggles I see within my own community. Our community faces unjust treatment from surrounding authorities and are many times denied even basic human rights that are available to others. The lgbt community consists of different groups and identities, all with their own set of struggles and agendas. Many times we cross and step over each other in order to get what we think is most important to us.
While talking with Micheal Weakley I was impressed to hear him talk about the current attitude of the lgbt youth. The attitude of I don’t care how you identify I just want my rights. They are focused on a goal of equality and are not concerned with or distracted by the identities of the individuals standing by their side. I hope this attitude continues and is spread throughout our entire community.
I understand we all have our own struggles and from those come our passions but really we aren’t all that different, we are all queer, I think it’s time we took responsibility for that.
Filed under: Growing Up | Tags: disability, drugs, medication, mental illness, transgender, youth
It seems like a life time ago, the memories are faint and scattered, now therapists look back and say it was a psychotic break down, brought on by stress and bad relationships with my family and girlfriend but it robbed me of almost three years of my life. I was diagnosed with Schizophrenia in the fall of 2004 and ended up having to move back in with my parents. By the winter of 2004 I was having visual, auditory, and tactile hallucinations on a daily basis.
Filed under: Where I am Today | Tags: birthday, sober, thankful, transgender, youth
2 years free of perscription drugs
I am thankful to be here
Filed under: Education, Growing Up | Tags: transgender, closet, closeted, coming out, faith, family, gay, homosexuality, lesbian, religion, silenced, struggle, support
About two years later I went with our local church to SEMP, Students Equipped to Minister to Peers. I loved it, I had a great relationship with God, great relationship with my family, and I came out for the first time at that camp to my friend Liz. I came out and I slammed the closet door shut, I made a decision to turn from my “homosexual behavior” and live for God alone.
I felt it was important to let my parents know and I sat them down as soon as I got home. I wanted to be completely honest with them about my struggle so they might better understand and hold me accountable. At first they were horrified, which is funny considering I came out as already reformed, then they went straight for denial, and then they told me to leave the room. I had never been treated that way by my parents, I was shocked. The next morning we all piled in the suburban and headed off to church. We all got out and I started to head to my classroom, my father stopped me, looked me in the eye and not to tell anyone because they would never understand. I deeply regreted coming out to them, I thought I was doing the right thing but I was met with a wall of rejection even though I thought I had rejected it myself.
Filed under: Where I am Today | Tags: 1n10, americorps, asu, equality arizona, interveiwing, lgbt, lodestar center, non profit, public allies, public service, school clubs, service, term, tumbleweed, united way
It has been almost two years now since I made the decision to turn away from my destructive self hatred and start living life the way in which it was intended. One of the first things I did was start a club for lgbtqa students on my college campus in order to create a safe environment for support, information, and ways of getting active with on campus awareness events. It was amazing to see students who frequently participated go from not speaking and staring at their feet to engaging in conversations and sometimes getting involved outside of weekly meetings. I quickly found that working full time in order to pay for a class or two each semester left me with little time to really get involved with my community and the issues I was passionate about.
Through a local lgbt youth group called 1n10 I had been attending I found out about a leadership fueled Americorps program offer through the ASU Lodestar Center called Public Allies. I was very nervous when calling for information because I had just recently started my transition and was afraid I would not be accepted into the program if they found out. I probably asked the Ally Alumn I was talking to about five times if the program was fully inclusive and accepting of the entire lgbt spectrum and each time she patiently replied, “Yes.” I immediately started on what ended being a very long and intensive application process but I can tell you it was worth every minute. Not only would I be payed while working for the non profit I was hired on by if chosen for the program but I would also receive leadership training and have the opportunity to participate with fellow Americorps members with Service Projects. In April I had turned in my application and attended my first interview becoming one of their first early exceptions for the next term of service. In the fall I attended a “Matching Fair” with multiple non profits that had gone through a similar process and were now awaiting to be matched with one of the potential Public Allies. Even though I and other participants had been selected for the program we could not continue unless we were matched with one of the non profit placements. After surviving the Matching Fair I attended three interviews with three different organizations, as is required. I interviewed with Valley of the Sun United Way, Tumbleweed, and Equality Arizona. After interviewing I had to wait while Public Allies conversed with placements about the potential Allies interviewed in order to make the best fit possible. Finally I received a call and was informed I had made the cut and would be working with Equality Arizona for the next 10 months. I was excited for the opportunity to work with a non profit, get paid for it, receive leadership training, participate in community service projects, and at the end of my service term receive almost $5,000 for my future education! I couldn’t wait to start my term of service with Public Allies and start along the road of public service and a better life.
